Did you forget about me? I know I’ve only made one post in the last year. It makes me feel like a bad blogger, but I had a lot happen in my life last year, which I detailed in the last post. And except for the lack of pole in my life, things couldn’t be better.
Up through the first of March, I was still going to see Samantha about once every couple of weeks to play. For some reason, since the first of the year, I just haven’t been feeling it. The joy has been lost. We do yoga, and some fun spins and new combos, or flexibility work and strength training because we were both lax over the holidays about working out. But there’s no joy. I feel unfulfilled. I don’t feel the fierce pride in my strength, or the joy of taxing my muscles and feeling them shake with fatigue when I’m finished. It’s nice, but… I have no motivation. I went, and worked out with Samantha, and managed maybe one other short workout with Jessie during the week. But it’s hard to be motivated to work out when you already walk 10 miles a day at your job pushing patients on beds and stretchers. But I spent time once a week or so with Samantha, and worked out a little with Jessie. But that was the first of March.
Since then, I’ve been in a small car accident – I was rear-ended. I threw my neck and right shoulder out badly, and didn’t exercise at all for two weeks straight because the muscles were so inflamed. But I was able to go see my dad about 10 days after the accident, and he spent the whole weekend realigning my spine. That was a couple weeks ago now, and I feel pretty much back to normal, but I still haven’t been working out. And stretching regularly? That went out the window weeks ago. I’m terrible at being consistent with things – I need someone to keep me accountable.
I know I need to work out, to pole in some respect, even if it’s just a twirl a couple times a day. But I’m just not interested. And I think it’s because I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed. This session at school has been extremely demanding, but this is thankfully the last week. I’ve been dealing with trying to get my car fixed from the collision as well, and it’s finally in the shop getting repaired this week. Work has been more and more frustrating recently as well, with a lot of politics and favoritism, and me becoming more and more disgruntled. Add to that trying to balance time with the boyfriend, time with my roommate/best friend, and I have just enough time left to sleep.
So it’s no wonder pole and exercise have taken a back seat. I have taken the first step though – I’ve started to change my diet back to something healthier, and am working on cutting out sweets, excessive carbs and fats. It’s not there yet, but I have to make changes gradually or I backslide. I’m thinking about starting to work out again, and have started doing some yoga and light stretching a few times a week. It’s not much, next to nothing, really, but it’s a start.
And I’ve had a breakthrough with my straddle stretches. When I straddle, I always end up rolling my arches onto the floor so my knees and toes face the wall in front of me instead of up at the ceiling. I can get a wider, deeper straddle this way. When I roll my knees and toes up, my abilities are greatly reduced. I asked my father about it, and he said that the tendons in my inner thighs and medial hamstrings are tight, and that’s why I can’t go as far with my toes up. That if I want to straddle with my toes up, I have to practice it. *sigh* Something else that will require consistent work and effort. But he said as long as it’s muscle pain and not joint pain, then the only thing stopping me is my muscles.
I will get back to it. And I will get back to blogging consistently. I think I’ve just been stressed and overwhelmed. My next day off work I’ll try to get together with Samantha again, now that I’m no longer injured. It may be one good workout/dance session is all I need to get the spark back.